Are We Compatible? Understanding Introverts and Extroverts - Part 2

by Relationship Fitness Coach, Denver J. Hudson

Introverts and Extroverts can be highly compatible and successful in creating a healthy and thriving relationship when they take the time to understand and appreciate their differences. Let’s look at some examples of how introversion and extroversion can show up in an intimate relationship. As we will see, it is quite easy for Introvert/Extrovert partners to misunderstand each other if these distinctions are not known and intentionally practiced in a relationship.

For an extrovert, the introverts need to be alone can easily feel like rejection. It can be easy for an extrovert partner to believe that an introvert’s need to be alone is a “moving away” from them. Could be. But, more than likely, the introvert is not moving away from the extrovert, as much as they are moving toward alone time to regenerate and reflect. Be mindful of this, and you can reduce a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings!

Extroverts are energized and animated by the company of other people whereas introverts are depleted by it. I recall when I was married to my extrovert wife. After a long week of work, I was looking forward to some good rest and relaxation and alone time on at least one of the two weekend days. I simply needed to recharge. She, on the other hand, was ready for a pool party with lots of guests! For her, that was energizing. For me, it was depleting. Now, if I had some time to rest and regenerate FIRST, it was fine. If not, it was frustrating! Result: misinterpretations and hurt feelings!  As you can see by this example, the social life of an extrovert/introvert couple can bring about some challenges if the differences aren’t understood and valued.

Another example is in the area of communication. Introverts tend to keep thoughts and feelings to themselves whereas an extrovert will often share what’s on their mind and what they are feeling quite freely. The introvert, therefore, can be seen by the extrovert partner as “secretive” or “shut down.” Actually – and I can speak from experience – I (introvert) can speak openly about my thoughts and feelings if I am given the time to open up and not be rushed to do so. Introverts often do not think quickly on their feet, as they like to think things through, whereas extroverts often like to keep talking to clarify their thinking. Obviously, this can agitate either partner if not understood and appreciated.

Another area where the differences between introvert and extrovert can show up involves affection. Introverts can take a while to warm up to a person and feel ready enough for affection such as physical touching, whereas an extrovert often enjoys and is energized by giving touches in an intimate relationship. Obviously, this isn’t always true, as there are more considerations in a relationship than the introvert/extrovert domain. And yet, it is something to explore, discuss, and honor in your relationship.

As you can see, an introvert/extrovert couple can find themselves facing many challenges. There are many opportunities for misunderstandings and conflicts. And yet, when the differences are understood, valued, and allowed, the relationship can be extremely healthy and nurturing to both partners.

The differences between Extroverts and Introverts is just one of many distinctions I teach singles and couples to dramatically improve their dating and relating skills. As you learn new distinctions (new ways of seeing), you will literally transform how you date, who you attract to you, and the type of relationship you create with your partner. Many people do not have the knowledge and skills that I will be teaching YOU as my coaching client - which is why many relationship fail or end up unhappy and unfulfilling. That, thankfully, will not be your story! Give me a call today at 812.236.5780 or email me at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com to explore what's possible through a coaching relationship!

Tweet